TV Review Star Wars: The Acolyte

When Disney Plus announced "Star Wars: The Acolyte," fans were eager for a show from the perspective of the Sith and the Dark Side. Unfortunately, we didn’t get that. At all. Instead we got yet another series that turned out to be a colossal disappointment. From the dismal writing and unlikable characters to a plot that makes no sense and action scenes that fall flat, "The Acolyte" fails on almost every front. The only silver lining? It’s over, and the chances of a second season seem blissfully slim.

The Writing: A Galactic Mess

Let’s start with the writing. If you’re expecting witty dialogue and intricate storytelling, prepare for a letdown. The dialogue is cringe-worthy, packed with clichés and unnatural exchanges. Characters spout off lines that feel forced and hollow, making it hard to invest in their stories. It's clear that the writers struggled to capture the essence of what makes Star Wars dialogue engaging and fun which is a crime when we know there are many excellent writers that have created excellent Star Wars stories. Think the Knights of the Old Republic video games or many of the books in the now Legends canon.

Characters You Can’t Root For

Moving on to the characters – and boy, are they a letdown. The protagonist, is a confusing mess and comes off as a self-absorbed whiner. She’s so unlikeable that I was glad every time she wasn’t on screen, she’s that wooden and poorly written. It’s challenging to root for someone so irritatingly one-dimensional. The supporting cast doesn’t fare much better; they’re either annoying or utterly forgettable. There’s no depth, no complexity, just a bunch of flat, uninteresting personalities. The only one that was okish was the Dark Side user. It falls into my rule that if you find yourself cheering on the villain then you’ve gone terribly wrong with your heroes.

What’s worse is their motivations. They either make no sense or are so basic they border on laughable. The attempt to create morally grey characters flops spectacularly. Instead of nuanced individuals, we get a weird mix of bland do-gooders, with no one in between to keep things interesting. Even when the show desperately tries to make the Jedi look like villains it fails miserably. I’ll say it. The Jedi did nothing wrong in this show and that fact completely undermines the entire plot and premise of the show.

A Plot That’s All Over the Place

If you’re hoping the plot might save the day, think again. "The Acolyte" offers a tangled, incoherent story that jumps from one idea to the next without any clear direction. The narrative is a hodgepodge of poorly executed concepts, lacking any real cohesion. Major plot points feel rushed, and crucial events happen without proper buildup, leaving viewers scratching their heads.

The pacing is all over the map. Long, uneventful stretches are punctuated by abrupt bursts of action that feel unearned and out of place. There’s no logical progression, making it tough to stay engaged or care about what’s happening. Overall, it’s just stupid and bad.

Action Scenes That Fail to Thrill

Star Wars is known for its epic action scenes, but "The Acolyte" falls far short of the mark. The choreography is lacklustre, the sequences are poorly shot, and the editing is downright confusing. It’s hard to follow what’s happening, and even harder to muster any excitement. The special effects, usually a high point in Star Wars productions, are subpar and do nothing to elevate the drab action.

There’s no sense of stakes or urgency. The battles feel obligatory rather than integral to the story, making them forgettable at best. It’s a shame, because well-executed action scenes could have been a redeeming feature in an otherwise dismal series. The only part where I got a bit invested was the fight between the Dark Side guy and the team of Jedi. I’ll hand it to them that they did kill off a lot of the more annoying characters at that point. So, kudos I guess…

Visuals That Don’t Impress

Even the visual aspects of "The Acolyte" are underwhelming. Star Wars is famed for its imaginative worlds and striking designs, but this series offers none of that creativity. The settings are bland and uninspired, lacking the distinctiveness that fans have come to love. Costumes and creature designs feel like cheap knock-offs of better ideas from previous instalments.

Disney Star Wars: A Series of Missteps

"The Acolyte" isn't an isolated misfire in Disney's Star Wars portfolio. Since acquiring Lucasfilm, Disney has struggled to consistently deliver on the promise of the Star Wars legacy. The sequels were divisive at best, with many fans feeling that they strayed too far from the essence of the original trilogy. The spin-offs and other series have been mostly miss, with most failing to capture the magic that made Star Wars an iconic franchise.

However, there have been some bright spots. "The Mandalorian" seasons 1 and 2 managed to win over audiences with the decent storytelling, intriguing characters, and respect for the Star Wars lore. "Andor" also proved to be a standout, offering a gritty, grounded perspective on the galaxy's conflict that resonated with fans and critics alike. These successes show that it's possible to create great Star Wars content under Disney's banner, but they also highlight just how disappointing the failures, like "The Acolyte," truly are.

A Disservice to the Star Wars Legacy

In the end, "Star Wars: The Acolyte" does a disservice to the already tarnished Star Wars legacy. It fails on almost every level, from writing and character development to plot and action. There’s a noticeable lack of passion and care, making it feel more like a cash grab than a genuine addition to the Star Wars universe.

Fans deserve better. The disappointment is palpable, especially given the high hopes many had for this series. Instead of a fresh, exciting new chapter, we got a hollow, uninspired mess that adds nothing of value to the beloved saga.

A Merciful End

The one saving grace is that "The Acolyte" has come to an end. Given the overwhelmingly negative reception, the chances of a second season are slim. This small mercy allows fans to move on and hope for better things in the future – perhaps a series that truly understands and respects the rich tapestry of the Star Wars universe.

"Star Wars: The Acolyte" is a galactic letdown. It serves as a stark reminder that even in a beloved franchise, poor writing, unlikable characters, a nonsensical plot, and subpar action scenes can lead to spectacular failure. Let’s hope future Star Wars productions learn from these mistakes and deliver the quality and excitement that fans deserve. I won’t hold my breath.