Movie Review: Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire

If there’s one film to avoid watching this holiday it’s Zach Snyder’s Rebel Moon – A Child of Fire. I absolutely hated this movie and pretty much everything about it. If you ever need an example of terrible writing and how not to make a sci-fi space opera this movie is it.

Trope central

Zack Snyder's "Rebel Moon" seems to be a cinematic conundrum that left me bewildered and disappointed. The film, ambitiously crafted, attempts to weave together an array of classic and beloved sci-fi elements but ultimately fails to escape the shadows of the giants it tries to emulate. From its opening scene to the last, "Rebel Moon" throws every trope at the screen in a dizzying display of homage or perhaps lack of originality, borrowing heavily from franchises like "Star Wars," "Warhammer," and "Firefly." Yet, it manages to lose the essence that made these originals so captivating.

Bland, unoriginal and a poor imitator

As the film progresses, it takes us into a cyberpunk cityscape, reminiscent of "Blade Runner," yet lacking the depth and intrigue that defines the genre. The characters are poorly developed, leaving viewers confused and disconnected. A particular moment that encapsulates the film's disjointed narrative is the introduction of a stereotypical Asian lady wielding swords in a fight against a generic spider villain. The scene is accompanied by music that's as forgettable as the action is uninspired. And just when you think it couldn't get more clichéd, she suddenly reveals lightsabers. One can't help but wonder, why the unnecessary delay in showcasing her full potential?

How not to build a mythos

The film's desperate attempt to establish a mythos falls flat due to its generic and uninspired elements. The aliens and villains, particularly the space Nazis donned in business attire, are yawn-inducing. They lack the menacing presence and complexity that make antagonists intriguing. Even the lead hero, who is meant to carry the film, is as lackluster as they come, making Rey from "Star Wars" seem like a Shakespearean character in comparison. The ensemble of characters feels like an afterthought, as if they were hastily thrown into the mix to fill the screen rather than to enhance the story.

Narrative? What narrative?

The narrative is so bewildering that one might question if it was penned by an AI on an off day, lacking the natural flow and engaging twists that define great storytelling.

Scenes jump into each other often with no explanation for what is happening, we meet new characters every five minutes who are so bland and boring you quickly forget who they are and not one of them is engaging. It’s like a child thought that throwing every ‘cool’ idea they’ve had onto a page would make a good story. It doesn’t.

Several of the characters literally contribute nothing to the story. There’s one scene where a Gryphon ripped from a fantasy story is suddenly put into the plot and what I can only describe as space Tarzan tries to tame it in an overly long and cringe inducing scene. Once Tarzan is recruited he literally does nothing throughout the movie aside from walking around without a shirt on.

The film culminates in a way that makes everything that’s gone before completely pointless and the finale is a setup for a sequel that's so blatantly derivative of "Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith" it borders on parody. It's genuinely shocking to witness such a lack of originality and finesse in a production that clearly has the resources and potential to deliver something fresh and exciting.

"Rebel Moon" is a jumbled mess of sci-fi clichés and uninspired storytelling that fails to ignite the imagination or provide any meaningful entertainment. It's a testament to the dangers of relying too heavily on the successes of the past without injecting any new life or perspective. As the credits roll, one is left with a feeling of confusion and concern for the high audience scores it has inexplicably received. This film isn't just a miss; it's a stark warning of the mediocrity that can ensue when creativity is sacrificed at the altar of imitation. It's truly the worst film of 2023, and one can only hope that it serves as a cautionary tale for future endeavors in the genre.

I give this movie a 1/10 and the title of the Worst Movie of 2023.