The Grumpy Author: Stop Trying to Humanise Monsters in Fantasy and Sci-fi

The Grumpy author returns!

You know what really gets under my skin? This modern obsession with turning every monster, villain, and force of evil into some misunderstood, tragic anti-hero. I’ve had it up to here with people looking at a dragon setting fire to a village, roasting peasants alive, and going, “Ah, but what about the dragon’s trauma?” Bollocks! Stop trying to humanise monsters. They’re monsters for a reason.

Take Starship Troopers as an example. It’s a brilliant film—bug guts flying everywhere, humans in badass power armour (well, in the book), and an unapologetically clear message: giant alien insects are a threat, and we must stomp them into oblivion. End of. But no, there’s always someone who pipes up with, “The humans are the real monsters for invading the bugs’ territory!” Excuse me? Did the bugs not just hurl a bloody asteroid at Buenos Aires, wiping out millions of innocent humans? Oh, but let’s cry for the poor misunderstood space roaches. No, thanks. I’ll take the humans’ side every single time, thank you very much.

Fantasy and sci-fi are built on the foundation of good vs evil, light vs dark, humans vs monsters. That’s the bloody point. When Frodo tosses the One Ring into Mount Doom, we cheer because Sauron is unequivocally evil. He’s not sitting in Barad-dûr writing poetry about his hard childhood. He’s a flaming eye trying to dominate Middle-earth. Evil. Sorted. Done.

But somewhere along the line, someone decided that villains had to be relatable. Now we’ve got werewolves with daddy issues, vampires with gluten intolerances, and demons who just need a good hug. Spare me. Sometimes, things are just evil. They don’t need a sob story. They don’t need redemption. They need a sword to the face.

Let me tell you something else that pisses me off: this trend robs us of righteous anger. You know, the pure, unfiltered satisfaction of seeing the good guys triumph over the bastards who deserve it. You can’t cheer when the hero slays the dragon if you’ve spent half the book being told the dragon is misunderstood because it had a rough breakup in its youth. It’s a dragon. It’s hoarding treasure. It’s eating people. Kill it and move on.

I blame this on the modern trend of grey morality. Sure, shades of grey can be interesting. But when everything’s grey, it’s just bloody dull. Sometimes, I want my hero to be a shining beacon of virtue, and I want my villain to be a cackling bastard who ties damsels to train tracks. It doesn’t make me simple; it makes me someone who enjoys a good story without all the handwringing.

Look, I’m not saying every story has to be black and white. Complex characters are great. But not every goblin needs a tragic backstory about how the village baker didn’t sell them a muffin once. Sometimes, evil is just evil, and we should stop trying to make it more than that. Let’s let the monsters be monsters. Let’s give the heroes something to actually fight for. Let’s stop trying to cuddle the bloody space bugs.

And before someone comes at me with their “But what about nuance?” argument, let me say this: you can have nuance without stripping your story of stakes. Nuance doesn’t mean you have to make the demons nice. It means your hero struggles with hard choices while still punching the bad guys in the face. Simple. Elegant. Satisfying.

So, let’s stop with this nonsense, eh? Let the monsters stay monstrous. Let the villains twirl their moustaches. Let the good guys win because they’re actually good. And for the love of all that is holy, stop trying to make me sympathise with a giant killer bug. Humans all the way, mate. Good over evil. Always.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some heroic, unapologetically badass humans to write about. And maybe a dragon or two to kill.

Rant over.