Book Review - SQUIRM: TALES OF THE GYMBRO HORROR 1 by Hugo Bernard
SQUIRM: TALES OF THE GYMBRO HORROR #1 by Hugo Bernard is a great little Halloween read for those of us who like science fiction horror or a short little B-movie themed scare. Science fiction, fantasy, and horror have long been intertwined with no real dividing line.
HP Lovecraft proved that you can freely mix them without losing any of the allure and virtually every major fantasy setting now has elements of horror, whether they're vampires or Great Old Ones. Here, this is decidedly on the more mundane side of things and a bit like Stephen King's classic set up of, "What if something incredibly WEIRD happens in an otherwise mundane setting."
The premise for this amusingly titled work is that Steve is a guy who wants to get jacked. He wants to be a buff, well-built manly man but he doesn't want to binge on more traditional short-cuts like steroids or growth hormone. He's not particularly intelligent but smart enough to know the side effects would probably screw him up before he got the results he wanted. Fortunately, at least at first, one of his friends claims to have an all-natural supplement that doesn't have any side effects.
Yeah right.
Steve soon finds himself putting on a mountain of muscle and going from looking like an average guy to someone who could easily be on the cover of a weight-lifting magazine. The stuff, called Frog Juice or Squirm, is disgusting and tastes familiar but works. His friend even wants to start importing then selling the stuff for a profit. Unfortunately, things start to get WEIRD with his girlfriend as it turns out he's been providing some of the squirm to her via their encounters. Squirm does not mix well with women, it turns out.
What follows is an increasingly surreal and entertaining story of Steve trying to deal with rival gym drug dealers, superpowered girlfriends, a US military conspiracy, and the secret origin of the Squirm. I guessed it's secret early but that just makes it more enjoyable when our protagonist realizes just what he's been drinking to get buff.
I liked Steve and the other characters. There’s not a lot of plot but what little plot is enjoyable throughout. Steve doesn’t want to deal with all the weirdness he encounters, he just wants to get laid and make sure his girlfriend doesn’t become a terrifying monster.
In conclusion, this is just a fun and entertaining book. It's only a little over a hundred pages and a very quick read for those who want something to enjoy this October. It's a short read but worth it if you like your horror more on the Syfy original movie side versus deeply serious.
